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Fed up now

by Dasha
(London, United Kingdom)

Two years ago I suffered from anorexia. I'm not sure what triggered it exactly but I felt that I needed to control something in my life and it ended up being food. Things got out of hand way too quickly and I lost X kg in a month. I was a slim girl as it was but I didn't see it. Thankfully my mum took control and took me to a doctor who referred me to an eating disorders clinic and I recovered in just over a year. While recovering I met my ex-boyfriend who supported me a lot but in September 2012 we broke up, as well as my best friend moving to a different school at the same time. I was okay for a few months but in December I began binge eating. It would happen once a week at first, then twice, then every 2 days, now I can binge for 4-5 days in a row. I've put in lots of weight and don't fit into any if my clothes. I felt really depressed and don't want to go out with my friends anymore. But every time I try to change anything I can't. It's as if I'm possessed and I cry nearly every day because I don't want life to carry in like this.

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