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Fear

by JC

I began purging 3 months ago, I don't purge everyday. More like once a week. I know purging is horrible and addicting, which is why every time I do it, I remind myself that I won't be doing it again. I know all the negative factors that comes with bulimia. And I just purged before writing this, my purges have become more frequent. I purged yesterday as well. I really want to stop, I feel scared and guilty every time after I purge.
I can't stop my binge eating and my body image is starting to become a big part of my life. I am not the least overweight, I was extremely skinny then I gained a bit of weight, it was a depressing time for me. I lost all the gained weight this spring and maintaining it has become more and more of an obstacle. I am SO afraid of gaining weight and the way I am eating does not help at all. This was when I first started my first purge. I am a big eater, always was, never been an issue until my metabolism slowed. Now my eating habit is just abnormal, I eat very little one day, self restriction and the next day i just lose it all. I cant seem to stick to one diet. And I eat whatever I crave. I am stuck in this horrible cycle,and I really lack self Discipline. I need to talk to someone but I have no one. I am ashamed and afraid to tell people.I need help.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program