Hi shaye and everyone,
This is my second time recovering. Last time was two years ago when I went away for an exchange for two months. Life was stress free and I was away from parents. I was super healthy but then eventually returned home and just started the whole binge purge nightmare again. Vomiting up to 10-20 times a day. I was not myself. Getting drunk at times as well partly cos of unhappiness and partly cos of low self esteem and just don't believe my true self can charm anyone.
So anyways I started my recovery again and have not purged for a month now. Had been eating regular meals. My family likes going out for big dinners so I had to have some on occasions. Twice the past month I've eaten till I was stuffed cos don't wanna waste good food. And managed to keep food down despite feeling guilty. Just got back on track afterwards. However I've been facing problems from my family mainly my mother. She has been skinny most her life. And she knows bout my bulimia. But there were occasions when she just talks about vomiting making her feel comfortable after having a huge meal. And she seems to be completely oblivious of how bad I'm having it.
Today we kinda talked a bit. I asked her not to talk bout vomiting and not to call me fat again. I said I'm dealing with bulimia and its ok if I'm on my own right now and I'm doing pretty well but it would be nice if I'm not aggravated by what she says. But then she says I shouldn't make bulimia recovery too big in my life otherwise I will feel overwhelmed. I just think its ridiculous. I'm making a huge effort to try and make my life better by battling this problem that has been engulfing my life for the past ten years. Instead of helping me, she just nonchalantly brushes it away as if its a small problem. And then she went on to say that I should accept people's comments on my problems, eg how I've gained weight in my midsection recently. I just lost it at that comment and left the house to go for a walk.
I just can't stand it sometimes. Just had to type something to vent. Also would be great if you or anyone has any suggestions on what I should do.
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