emetophobic male bulimic
First of all I am a 15 year old boy, I live in the UK. I have been bulimic for 2 months. I tried to vomit when i was 14, couldn't do it, until I learned a trick, which I wont share. I used to have a phobia of vomiting, I would have a panic attack if i felt slightly nausea's. And now Im making myself sick, in the bathroom, in the mirror. It started in March, I had just made myself a cheese toastie, I remember regretting it, it was so cheesy and fatty and buttery and so delicious, but so guilty. I remember a trick I saw in a pro bulimia site that I hadn't tried. I tried it, it worked, I realized I can now lose weight through vomiting...or so I thought. Soon after I started to really dabble with purging, one time my brother heard me he asked me whats up, I told him I think I have a stomach bug, I had worn that out for too long, my parents stressed me to see a doctor, I knew if I didn't they would get suspicious, both my parents have already asked if I was making myself sick, figured seeing as I went through an un-diagnosed but obvious period of anorexia in which I lost X pounds, due to an anti-depressant medication, which took away my appetite and I abused it. I had an appointment with my gp, he said it was my "constipation" so he gave me laxatives I abused them. I got caught again after saying it was all good, I covered again, so I went to the doctors again, they said it might be this virus and I was given antacids, thank god. My parents now think the vomiting has stopped, I'm trying to hide it but also seeking recovery.
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