Embarrassed by my actions and fearing losing my period
I've been bulimic for about four years. It started as a diet, I've been on a diet or wanted to be for as long as I could remember. I'm at the weight I want right now, but at what cost. I could've achieved this weight with proper nutrition and exercise. I would exercise, but my food restriction made me want to binge especially late at night.
I took birth control for about 3 years I was with my boyfriend. After stopping, I realized my period was not returning normally. I do not want to induce a fake period. I'm fearing losing my period and not having the opportunity to have kids and a family in the future.
I used to want to look fit for others, to improve my self esteem. Now, I realize how strong I am and getting through this disease will make me even stronger. I don't know how it started, but I'm in control on how it will end. I know doing this will make me stop being embarrassed by myself and proud of who I am.
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