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An Emotional Eating Disorder poem That I wrote when I was bulimic

This page displays an eating disorder poem that I wrote when I was in the deepest and darkest days of bulimia nervosa. Poetry was one way that I could express what I was feeling.

You might never guess that this was a poem about bulimia... I never actually say the words "bulimia" or "eating disorder"... The reason for this is that I was so ashamed of being bulimic. The thought of anyone ever finding my poetry in my drawers was enough to make me leave those words out! Bulimia was my secret - I wanted it to stay that way.

My bulimia poetry is symbolic and I will explain the meaning of the poem beneath it. Try and see if you can figure it out without looking ahead!

 

Have you written an eating disorder poem to release sadness, anger... Frustration, even hope?

share your Eating Disorder Poetry with other people who are suffering!

 

Below you'll find my bulimia poem. I hope that you enjoy it...

 

-- CRAZY WORLD --
Each day the same,
I live this game,
Don't know the way,
Don't know how to play.
I Need someone to explain,
How to breathe again.
Suffocate and die,
I fall and I fly,
Always believe that I will find
A way to understand my crazy mind.
Me, I just one.
No one, To so many...
Known but unknown,
I'm living Un shown.
No one to me,
No one to be...
Living and dead...
Starving but fed.
Help me live,
help me learn,
be my water, but let me burn.
Understand me please,
Understand How i fell...
Be my heaven within this hell...
When the living lie
and the walking die
All people are blind,
All left behind.
In this living world,
full of dead,
always hungry, never fed.
Are the souls of those who walk alone...
Trying to find their way back home.

 

Yea - I totally get that it's a bit of an odd poem. It's dark, depressing and a bit muddled. It might not be obvious, but it is an eating disorder poem through and through. I've explained a few of the paragraphs below:

Paragraph 1:
I'm talking about living the 'game' - by 'game' I'm referring to bulimia. I call it a game because it's not real - it's a world of lies and pretending. I then flick to say 'don't know the way, don't know how to play... need someone to explain how to breathe again' Here, I'm talking about life (or living) and I am calling for help because I've forgotten how to live without bulimia.

Paragraph 2:
In this paragraph I am referring to having moved to New Zealand where nobody knows me. I feel like a nobody. This is obvious when I say 'Me I'm just one, no one to so many'.

'Known but unknown' shows that the people who do know me, such as my family and friends - don't actually know the real me. They don't know about the bulimia which consumes me life.

Probably the most important phrase in this poem is the following one in paragraph 2:

Living and dead...
Starving but fed.

This sentence illustrates that I am alive, but I feel as though my soul has died. It talks about my starving body - but the fact that it is also always fed - This refers to constant binge eating and then throwing up. Starving has a double meaning - I am starving because a) Food never gets to remain in my tummy. b) I am starving, or lacking from something that I need in my life - something that eating can not satisfy.

Heck - it's hard to try and explain the meaning of a poem! I hope you kind of understood my explanation! :)

Try Figure out the meaning behind this poem...

Here's another eating disorder poem that I wrote. I'm going to leave it up to you to try and figure out what it means! It's quite deep - so I hope that some people will get it...

HINT: first day = Monday

-- FIRST DAY 7 TIMES --
First day brings a new.
Doubt spirals in my heart.
First day sunrise hope
Is questioned from the start.
By the time is half,
I long for first day more...
Only 3 more sunsets,
Shall I fight this mad-man's war.
First Day comes again.
Again i set my guard.
Reverberating constant doubt,
again within my heart.
Within my heart cries evermore
for first day seven times
waiting, doubted, eager eyed
for the decipher to my rhymes...

 

Share your own poems about eating disorders...

I've shared my eating disorder poem to help others out there who may be suffering... I would really appreciate it if you would share your poetry too!

Your poetry will be extremely valuable! It lets other sufferers know that they're not alone.

Eating Disorder Poems Written By Others...

Click below to see poems from other visitors to this page...

Life is What You Make it. 
If life is what you make it, Then I have made a mess. I run myself into the ground when all I want is rest. Choices become actions, Which rule our …

Dear Perfect Body 
While trying to find you I lost myself. I thought I had control - I thought I knew what I was doing. I lost my soul -because of you Puked it down, …

Soc(i)ety  
You reside in me, An internal sea. Your warming waves a sly disguise, A fatal façade for your toxic tide Of lies. Yet beauty you show, It ebbs …

This - A poem about bulimia 
Tears running down my face I remember these days, secluded, engulfed with the memories words. humiliation. betrayal. abused and broken. Picked up the …

Hello Beautiful Me - Hannahs Eating Disorder Poem 
She pulls you in and listens to You crying in despair She says she’ll make things better She’s the only one that cares. She takes you in much deeper …

Do you really know her? 
Who is that girl? I can't recognize her anymore She just stands there and look like a ghost A shadow from yesterday The lips was in a big smile …

Binge 
Hovering over the sink The nausea kicks in From one too many cookies That will melt like fat Onto my thighs I look into the mirror As anxiety …

Empty 
Empty Hollow cave inside my eyes Porcelain bones interrupt this gaping hole Hunger embraces me with an opulent sigh He kisses me and paints a phantom …

Getting back on track 
Derailing off the recovery track is not failing it's falling Falling into the minds darkness but the positive light is calling Calling for you to resist …

Fighting a war against myself. 
Your stomach keeps hurting, your lost out of sight, you hate yourself even more, bevause you know you've lost the fight, your mind starts to wonder, …

So Long 
The thought, the glare, that putrid urge To reminisce yesterday vulgar purge No contemplation, no desire to stop You’re an animal now, of you trot …

You and Me 
I am not you and you are not me you were there when i was in need but you are not what i want to be It's okay to feel joy and its okay to feel hurt …

Knocks 
knock knock knock Trick or treat There's a knocking at the door Wash your hands With tears of sorrow Or leave them beathed In the delicious …

Monster 
There's a beast inside me; He's eating my soul. His red eyes ensnare me, They won't let me go. I'm on the floor begging; I'm tearing my hair. I …

Mirror 
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Hanging with a threat right down the hall. Imperfection, blemish, and disdain, With frustration pounding through your brain. …

The person I am 
I want to be okay again No, better than okay I want to be me I want to be the old me The person, who always were happy no matter what The person, …

Me 
Why? I ask myself that question all the time How did I get this far? And why Once, I was the happiest girl people knew I was the shoulder to cry …

The girl who was lost in her own mind 
It's like a big maze Where you can't find the way out You are in the middle of something you don't understand anymore You lose the control You are …

Body games 
i asked to be skinny hoping somehow the ribs on my side would reflect happiness. i believed eating was a monster and should never let it sease my mouth. …

Down 
Down on the ground I do not make a sound White as a ghost Trying to be the most. Left little room for myself While my friends watch my health. …

I Am. 
I am hurting on the inside. The world does not see. Who i am Or who I'm meant to be. I am broken. A pebble soaked in the rain. The downer. The …

Tulip 
from glitter to charcoal, bulimia sucked me into a black hole, sucked me in hard, about as hard as a tulip has to be tough, if it intends to ever survive …

Help 
A decision caused by regret Something I try to forget, But it drags me in and holds me down But I can't let go yet A part of me it's taken It's …

Am I fat or am I thin ??  
I look in the mirror and what do I see?? A fat person staring straight back at me. I step onto the scales day by day hoping that the number goes …

Click here to write your own.

“Dedicated to Kansas City Research Hospital: Through this Pen” 
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don’t know how to begin or how to even start, To thank you for all you have done for me. I am a new person …

That Girl 
That girl... Perfect on the outside Lying to the world Hiding her pain. Forever with a mask That hides her guilt And covers her shame Lies …

Reality 
When I am finally flying So far off the ground The lightening shoots toward me And strikes me back down The light is deceiving So friendly…so brilliant …

Simple Steps 
Simple steps are all it takes, to recover from all these mistakes, to me, this quote is a lie, for the days of recovery never die the battle fought …

Love Me Thin 
Poisoned thoughts make weakened minds And weakened minds leave this behind Weigh me down Tape my flesh We're right We're wrong With nothing left …

Mia 
she wants me i need her she gets me even weaker she takes me at my loneliness she wrecks me obligated forgiveness she blinds me i let her …

A sickening cycle 
A place where the end is just the beginning leaving off right where it started it keeps my head spinning Its either Up or down Its only left Left …

Click here to write your own.

 

 

 

 

Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program