dont belive that recovery is possible

by karolina
(london)

I've been struggling with this for the past 7 years. Last year I was having a treatment that never really help. I spent 6 months on NHS waiting list and then another 8 months going to see a therapist. Year later I'm still doing the same thing. Maybe I dont throw up like 20 times a day but I still do, every time I eat. I feel terrible sometimes, my hands are shaking and I'm struggling to breath, I know that I'm not well but I feel like I will never change that. I can eat and be sick straight after, sometimes I don't even feel hungry but I eat because it's easy to throw up. Thing that is driving me crazy the most is the fact that I'm not losing weight. Then I'm trying not to eat for a day or so and my body is not having this so I have to eat and run to the toilet straight after.

I really lost all my hopes that my life will look any different any time soon...

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community