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Deep loneliness...Why can't it be filled?

by Ms. Gonna Stop
(Portland, OR)

Raw Nuts & Raw Honey...LOTS of it!

Raw Nuts & Raw Honey...LOTS of it!

I know that is why I binge. I'm so lonely. No family member of friend can fill this loneliness. I know I need God to fill it for He created me and knows my deepest parts. But, instead of turning to Him, I continuously turn to food. The food let's me down EVERY time yet, I keep doing it. I feel like I undergo temporary insanity every night. I do great during the day. Eat healthy rounded meals and sometimes snacks. I eat a good dinner but then, something turns on in the evening and nothing is sweet enough for me! I haven't turned to bulimia but, I think about it more and more. Instead I use laxatives to help relieve some of the guilt. I used to spend almost 2 hours at the gym but, I'm just too tired anymore. The weight is starting to creep up on me. I'm depressed, feel disgusted and unhappy. WHY can't I just STOP?!!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program