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Dear Perfection

by Tanya

Dear perfection, dear carelessness, dear AnaMia,

I have done all this for you. I used to think being skinny will make me perfect, which will make me careless, which will allow me never to be hurt again and feel depressed. I've lost 15kg and I still want to lose more. I began chain smoking. I get urges to stop eating. It took me 2 years to come so far, so eat somewhat normally. I still puked at least once a week during these 2 years. I relapsed after moving to a new continent and a new school. What else will you take form me? I will never satisfy you. I will always have cravings, eat and then feel horrible and purge. Fuck you for messing up my life. Thank you for giving me a little more confidence. You've done your job, I'm underweight now. You can fuck the hell off now. Let me live a normal life.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program