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Dear Loved Ones...

by Cody

Everything that Glitters is not Gold, and I for one am an example of that...

For the past 4-5 years now, since I've lost my weight, I have been fighting and battling Anorexia and Bulimia. I AM SO SORRY, that I've let my life come to this, I am deeply sad and regret the life that has become mine. I am So Sorry for all the lies for all these years!!!

Yes, I have used Physical Activity to help my weight loss but the biggest factor of it was and has been my Eating Disorders... I cant tell you how or why or when it started, but it did and it has just continued to explode...

I started getting results that I liked, so I continued until it has now become the Monster and Demons that I live with Every Single day and Night. It is figuritivly and literally killing me to have had to hide this from all of you...

I know some of you have had an idea and some may have not, I just wish I would have had the strength to ask for help or tell someone sooner. I can only remember of 1 day in the last 4 years that I havent binged and purged.

I am so tired of the person that I have become, I HATE MYSELF and cant stand looking at myself in a mirror but yet I still cant control it.

I am here to ask for all your help and support because I have figured out that I can not do this on my own, I am not Strong enough, I NEED YOUR HELP!!! Ive held back for years on telling you all because im so ashamed and embarresed on what you all would say, think and feel. I no longer can, worry about that, because my Biggest worry now is for my own life. Im literally driving a nail into my coffin and will continue if I dont get any help or treatment until the day this horrible disease kills me, or seriously alters my physical being...

This is and has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and try and beat. It is a never ending battle that Im ready for to be over, I want my Old self, my old life back and am ready to make a change.

Please I cant do this alone, Im begging, crying out with my arms open PLEASE DONT TURN AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE HELP!!!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program