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Dear Jeremy.

by Milly

Dear Jeremy,
I've got something to tell you. I haven't told mom and dad yet, I'm too scared. I don't know why I'm telling you first, it just seems easier, somehow.
Now, I'm going to tell you about something I've been struggling with for a while. Please don't start freaking out, doing that over-protective older brother thing. I'm not pregnant or on drugs or anything. It's just something I think I should get help with.
I'm bulimic. I was (and still am) absolutely terrified that anyone will find out. Only one of my friends knows. She's bulimic too, we try to keep each other accountable, but that doesn't work too well.
When I first started throwing up after I ate, I didn't think of it as a big deal. Just an easy way to lose weight. But now I am scared. I'm wrecking my possible future career, I know. (Can't exactly be an opera singer if your throat is too damaged to sing well. My vocal coach has been saying, more than usual, lately, that my voice sounds very strained and tired.)
To be perfectly honest, I am scared. I am so very scared. There's lots of things in my body not working right. My throat and chest always hurt, my face is all red and splotchy, I've popped blood vessels, and I am so tired and weak. I can't focus my mind on things.
Please, could you help me tell Mom and Dad? I know you have a wife and a job and a life of your own, and the last thing you need is me shoving my silly teenage drama on you. But maybe, you could help me with this? I think they would take it better coming from you than a random friend of mine.
I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry for writing this to you, I wish I could just get better by myself. Thank you for reading it, and considering helping me tell the parentals.
Thanks for being the best older brother ever, and sorry once again for shoveling my silly teenage body image stuff in your face.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program