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Day 1 of bulimia recovery

by 1989

Today is the first day I feel like I want to end this terrible habit. I have had an eating disorder similar to anorexia but not as extreme, more like mildly afraid and over conscience of food and my body. I was an athlete in high school and wanted to loose a few pounds to run faster for soccer. Those few pounds turned into too many and I was afraid to gain weight. Then I weighed X pounds and am 5'9, i felt ill and frail and needed help from a nutritionist. When I went to college things became stressful and I wasn't handling the new experience of growing up too well. Finding healthy food and not snacking while studying was difficult and I gained 20 pounds, which most people didn't notice but i did and over reacted. I didn't tell anybody i was depressed over the freshman weight gain and started throwing up my meals and snacks because i was so afraid of gaining weight even though i looked and felt fine. Throwing up meals turned into binging and purging behavior, much worse than i have expected. I began exercising more often, light walks and biking. I have had issues with bulimia for three years, for months the habit would be worse and other months I would not throw up at all. I feel like the bulimia is a reaction to my anxiety, the more stress i feel , the more i anxious i become around food. My weight has plateaued for 3 years at X pounds and I feel strong, attractive and healthy. Today I am going to end this habit for good. I love my family and friends and am afraid of future health problems if i continue throwing up. I found this calorie intake calculator app which has given me guide lines, information, and meal plans for my individual body and active lifestyle. Looking at these posts has even further inspired me to start Day 1, thanks everybody for your honesty and support. This behavior is so difficult to end alone, and its so hard and embarrassing to share this problem with others. Be brave.


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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program