Your bulimia recovery
Tap here to read more about the bulimia recovery program

My online program and private recovery community has helped hundreds of women beat bulimia.
Click here to learn more

Beat bulimia using my online recovery program and private community. Hundreds of women who were just like you have done the same!

Click here to learn more Member Login

Daddy, Help Me

by Melissa
(United States)

Dad, I love you, and I don't want to disappoint you anymore than I already have in my life, but I need to tell you something, and I need your help. I've been struggling with Bulimia for about six months, ever since I moved out. I have progressed into it pretty far, in the last four months alone I have lost about 50 pounds. This all started because I feel I have a lack of control on my life. I used to cope with this feeling by cutting, but you found out and sent me to a recovery program for it. I relapsed several times into it, but I realized that I needed a new way to cope that wouldn't be so easily detected by you. I transitioned into a mild case of anorexia. Remember all those times I told you I wasn't hungry because I ate at a friend's house earlier, or I had a really big lunch. It wasn't true. I couldn't control everything, but I COULD control the amount of food I was taking in and the way I looked... Eventually, I missed food. I missed being able to allow myself to eat chocolate, and mashed potatoes, and bread with butter... I finally snapped. I ate it all. The first month that I was on my own, you gave me $200 for food. The money that was supposed to last me a month only lasted for 2 days. I was just so very hungry. After my two day binge, I looked in the mirror and was so disgusted with myself that I actually broke my mirror because I couldn't look at myself without wanting to scream and yell, and just beat myself up. I was so mad at myself for breaking the one piece of control I had over my life, that I felt ill. I couldn't make the feeling go away, eventually I just got sick of feeling sick, and I did it. The thing I had only heard about in horrible stories of sick girls, I forced myself to vomit. I started doing it all the time. It was my new control. IT escalated quickly and I'm now at the point of vomiting at least x times a day. I NEED help! I'm now the sick girl in the horrible story, and I'm scared... It's scarier in real life. Please, I need help, support, and most of all: I need to know you love me and will be there for me through this.

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to bulimic letter.



Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program