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Cocaine addiction and bulimia

by shell
(rural South, America)

I'm in recovery from cocaine addiction, and when I finally managed to stop using I started eating instead. I didn't seem to get full like most people- I just kept eating and eating and eating and it was disgusting. I gained over Xlbs in just a few months and I hated myself- one of the best parts of my addiction was the fact that I was rarely hungry and stayed very thin. So I would not eat all day, and then dinner would come and I'd have to cook for my family and eat with them, which made me feel fat so I'd have to go throw up. Then once the dinner was gone from me my stomach would be growling and I'd be so unhappy with myself and craving coke so I'd go back to the kitchen and start cooking or eating leftovers or snacking, which would make me feel fat, which would make me throw up, which would make me hungry, so I'd eat more and feel fat and throw up... I can't stop! It's ridiculous!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
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