I don't know where to start, I'm 21 years old and I've been bulimic for 10 years now, I am right now the deepest into this illness I have ever been. I've tried group counselling and therapies but I just can't summon the courage to actually make myself go continuously, in the past month I have dropped X pounds and have had questions from my friends, family and boyfriend if I'm throwing up again, I just shake my head and lie to their faces and say "no, I don't know why I'm losing so much weight", its tearing me up inside that I'm continuously lying to everyone, convincing them I'm as healthy as can be, it would crush them all to know that in secret I'm buying food, looking for anything in the kitchen to consume and puke into the garbage can in my room. I'm so embarrassed and I want to stop so bad, I'm just terrified of telling people the past year of being "healthy" was a lie....
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