Can't stop bulimia?
I don't know if I can stop. I am trying really hard, everything in life is great except for the fact that I can't stop this.
I feel that there is something wrong with me, maybe I am unbalanced in some mental way? I've been dealing with bulimia for a long time along with other self destructive habits. All other issues are healed except this and I can't seem to stop.
I am so selfish. My boyfriend is amazing, supportive of my recovery and I've started lying to him about my bulimia because I know it hurts him when I hurt myself. Shouldn't that be enough to stop?
I am so inspired by the beautiful postings on Shaye's site and I gain so much from everyone's stories yet I am lacking the ability to abstain for more then 2 days... I don't know if I can do this.
I've gone to therapists, went to an inpatient program a long time ago and they helped at the time but .... I'm back to exactly where I was 20 years ago. This is insane. And yet knowing that, I still binged and purged tonight. I am worried that I may never recover.
Thank you for letting me share this...
Lots of love.
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