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Cant get out of bed except to binge&purge

by Brandi
(Los angeles, ca, usa)

A decade + of my life I have been bulimic and anorexic. I used to be an energetic, witty girl with tons of I'm a stone.
Like many others, I've been through countless relationships where I was used, abused, and forgotten. Suppose that's what I'm used to.
Now I'm in bed, devastated because I have already binged and purged three times and the suns still up. Recently My daily average has been around ten times.

I've been to inpatient, 4 outpatient programs, psychiatrists, nutritionists, and psychologists. Some of them ended up being abusive, namely the psychiatrists. They're legal drug dealers, essentially.

So I weaned myself off of Prozac and ability. Those scripts do more harm than good in the long run.

However, now here I am. I feel beaten. I don't want to die but I wouldn't mind.

I need someone to talk to, email, or anything. Please. I'm going to drag myself to an oa meeting. I have to.

I'm crying now after typing this, sharing does help. I haven't been able to cry in a long while.

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