Can't do this anymore
Hello everyone, iv'e been struggling with bulimia since i was 15 and i'm now 21. I was always chubby as a child and received many comments from family,friends and others about my weight and how i'm so podgy. It was around my teens when i started fascinating about the idea of losing weight so i'd try eating less but never it lasted more than a few days. By the time i was 15 i'd had enough of being bigger even though i was still considered a healthy weight for my height. I started eating healthy and walking more which was great ,i felt fitter and happier managing to keep off X for about a year. It was after my prom when i started to secretly binge and purge mostly on weekends, i felt so out of control and would eat anything i could on weekends whilst heavily restricting what i ate on weekdays.When i started college i lost a lot of weight and whilst i loved the compliments and attention i received i still remained extremely unhappy with my life and the way i looked,i would turn down any social events,dates and parties i would be invited to in exchange for throwing up in secret for most of the night.When i turned 18 i started to put on all the weight i lost and more:( i have been dieting for years mixed with binge eating and purging .I am extremely tired and broken inside. I'm at uni now and i want to enjoy my life to the fullest but i cant because i'm constantly preoccupied by my weight. I feel ashamed of myself,I need help as i can't go on like this anymore :( my mum had anorexia when she was younger and gets incredibly upset when she talks about her experience therefore i don;t want to cause her anymore upset or worry.
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