Bulimic for half my life - the other half DOESN'T have to be that way - Bulima after 40
I read some stories that were posted about 6 months back about some who have had bulimia for 20, 30 or so years. I'm 43 and been bulimic for over 25. Reading these stories really made me feel so sad and want to reach out an help. When we've had this for so long it becomes so much of our daily lives and it can become so easy to hide. It almost like we were supposed to be this way, this is how we were made and that's how it is. I've felt that way many times. I'd come to the point where bulimia became a habit I think.
I've thought to myself that I don't HAVE to binge and purge anymore, life is not over at 40 or 50 - I can change my future. I can form new habits in place of my b/p habit. If I REALLY want to stop I could. I can TRY. If one doesn't try they will never succeed. There may be slips and times of regressing to old habits - but that cannot make us stop from trying. I recovered and regressed for many months, and I am trying again. Honestly it is easier this time. And because this year I am trying and have had success in spite of my slip-up, I will say that this is the best year I have had in a LONG, LONG time - because I am trying and feel better for it.
Bulimia is not the hand that was dealt to me. I don't have to play this hand all my life, I can change it.
Ladies in your 40's, 50's, who've lived with this forever it seems - we are NOT old, and we are not beyond recovery.
Shaye's site has so many wonderful tools that can give us the hope and strength to take that first step and TRY. We have to have hope and confidence in ourselves that we can to this - that's the first key to the road to recovery.
I know that it's not like quitting smoking and drinking, because we need food to live. I needed to learn how to eat again. I needed to form new eating habits - which I know people who've never had bulimia probably don't do - but if it's stopping me from binging - I'm all for it! I still do structured meal planning. It's a wonderful tool and it's my new habit.
I wish you all well and the strength to see yourselves as wonderful people and deserving to be strong, self-confident, happy and free. We all have the strength and wisdom in ourselves to beat this. I've said it a few times, if we set our mind to do something we can do it. This is SO VERY true. Our mind is a powerful thing, more powerful than the control bulimia has over us - we just have to harness that power and use it.
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