Bulimia - What I thought would be the best of both worlds....
I'm a 20-year old female and have been bulimic for the past 2 years and I am sick of it!
I became bulimic as a way to lose weight, and still be able to eat whatever I wanted because I LOVE all foods. I always have been one to not feel satisfied after one helping but was able to keep the weight off due to playing sports year round in high-school. Once college started I wasn't active enought to keep off the weight. I came up with this idea to eat what I wanted but to then purge it up! This surely will be the best of both worlds, right? Not exactly. This has consumed my life unfortunately. It's a battle EVERY day, and up until recently I've been some what numb to it all, not realizing that I COULD stop and that I NEED to. I got through my first day without purging yesterday and it was not something that I was even trying to do, it just happened.
Night time is the hardest for me because I eat very well and don't get that "itch" for food until about 8 pm and then I let loose on cookies, ice cream, pizza,cereal, candy, you name it. SOOOO I'm hoping that if I keep myself busy and when the urge strikes I plan to take a second to just breathe, think of the positives of NOT binging, get away from my triggers and pray for help because I know I can't do this on my own and frankly, I don't want to.
So, good luck to everyone else out there who is struggling, I feel your pain and applaud you for taking the beginning steps of recovery by finding this blog!
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.