bulimia - what a waste of my time
There are so many things I hate about bulimia...
I hate how much time I waste every day on this stupid disease. Going to school, working part time, being a mom, I don't have much spare time as it is. And to top it off, I waste it on binging and throwing up, and trying to hide so nobody notices what I'm doing. I'm so sick of it!
I wish I could tell my husband, but I'm scared of what he'd think, how betrayed he would feel with me hiding it and deceiving him for so many years. I wish I could find help, but am scared that my family and friends would find out what I'm seeking help for.
I'm 26 and have been bulimic off and on for ten years or so. My bulimia is definetly not for lack of other things to do with my time, I have to make time to squeeze it in, and I don't even know why I do it! It doesn't help me lose weight at all, in fact every time that I can quit the binge/purge cycle I end up losing weight.
There is nothing in it for me so WHY can't I QUIT?
My only thought is that I have been doing it for so long, that it's tough to break old habits.
Quitting smoking was easier than this, but my husband and I did that together but in this I feel so alone.
Every day I wake up and tell myself, ok today will be different. And some days I can go the whole day without it, and the next I'll be right back to it.
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