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Bulimia - wanna get rid of you!!!!

by Cath

When I was 18 i started to binge and purge - since nearly 3 three years I am in this addiction now. (Sorry about my english, I'm German ;))
In summer i spend 8 weeks in a clinic for women with eating disorders. It was a great time and I learned a lot about myself and about the illness, but I'm still bulimic..
Sometimes one week binging and purging every day. Then comes nearly one week without it, and then it starts again. It's a circle and I just don't get it to the point where it turns into a straight line.
I just want to be a normal girl, no worrying about how I look,how thin I am and who loves me most. I want to enjoy life, eat a cupcake when I feel like. Feeling like eating a cupcake without considering all pro and cons? Just eating it without thinking about it hours later? What can I do?!
I'm beginning to study and I don't want to mess it up because of my bulimia, but it makes everything so much harder for me.
I have a boyfriend since 2 months now and he doesn't know about the illness, although he sees me sad and depressive quite often.
I'd love to let him know,so that he could support me..but how can I know that he doesn't see me in a different light when I tell him?
I'm scared, but it is sooo hard to hide it from him.

What do you think?? Should I tell him and risk our relationship that is for me the most importanr relationshipi ever had..

Thanks:) CATH

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