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Bulimia support was something I'd gone without for over 10 years. For nearly 1/2 my life, I'd hidden my secret from the world... Nobody knew I was bulimic and I would do anything to keep it that way.
I thought that if people knew I had an all consuming desire to binge and purge multiple times a day, they would think I was crazy. I didn't understand my addiction - so how could anybody else?
Sometimes I would try to drink my pain away... In my boozed up state, I'd come close to asking for bulimia support. The words "I'm bulimic, I need help" were on the tip of my tongue - but even alcohol was not strong enough to let this secret out.
But then one day, the tables were turned... The bulimia topic wasn't on the tip of my tongue - but on my boyfriends. He sat quietly with me and then said "Shaye, are you bulimic?".
It felt like my world was falling apart. I felt like I was going to vomit (probably made worse by the fact I had just binged and was planning on purging!). The idea of lying crossed my mind - but I decided it as time to tell the truth...
I opened up to Tom and for the first time in my life, I asked for bulimia recovery support. I asked him to help me in my bulimia recovery.
And so when a beautiful member of The Bulimia Recovery Program posted on her blog the other day "Should I tell my best friend about my bulimia?" - I told her my story. The story I've just told you above...
I told her how opening up and asking for bulimia support in my recovery journey was a beautiful thing. Yes, it was freaking scary and I had sweat dripping from every pore in my body - but it was worth it.
By opening up and sharing my secret - I now had somebody on my recovery team. I was supported.
Sharing my secret helped me to fully recover from bulimia more than 7 years ago.
So precious girl - if you are thinking of opening up about your bulimia - if you are thinking of asking for bulimia help, I'd say do it! So long as the person you open up to is loving and caring, I think it is a positive step towards your healing.
If you find it's too hard to open up to somebody in person - you could try write them a letter. If this also feels too difficult at this point in time (and that's okay!) you might find the bulimia support group community (part of The Bulimia Recovery Program) incredibly healing.
Whatever you decide to do - please share your secret. Open up and feel the weight of the world fall off your shoulders :)
Opening up will help you recover from bulimia... And you deserve recovery!
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community