I have found myself in deeper waters than I expected. I was so positive for a long time, but then things just started to get too hard with my life and I gave up. After 18 days free, I relapsed for abut a week, the B/ps were not so bad as before, far from it, but I had like 1 or 2 in the evenings. Now I really hope I am back on track - 2d day, I work hard to stay positive and fight with the difficulties in my life. During the relapse I was more depressed than ever. I dont know if it is normal, during a relapse to feel so bad, coz I actually relapsed because I was very anxious and that was my old way to handle it, but now happened exactly the opposite. Still now it is difficult to go back on track because the urges are stronger than before it happened. Another thing that worries me, is that I still have those 6 pounds since I started and I was stable till the relapse week when I gained abut 3 pounds more. Is it normal? I know the weight is not so important during the recovery, but still I just want to know what is happening with my body.
Thank you darling!
And thank God for having you in this world!
It is normal to feel bad during relapses... Often you'll feel like a failure... But the truth is far from that - You are doing so well! Relapse is a part of recovery - and learning how to pick yourself up (as it sounds like you are doing now) is such an important step in moving forward and become healthy, happy and bulimia free!
Try not to focus on the weight - everyone gains different amounts during recovery - I gained about 3kg's (10ish pounds) which I hated at the time - but now see that it totally didn't matter in the scheme of things! A lot of it is water weight too - as I'v mentioned before :)
Just keep doing things that make you happy - listen to good music every time you start feeling bad - snap yourself out of the mood before it starts. Go through everything in your life that you have to be grateful for every morning and night - even simple things like the sunshine, or the clean morning air...! the more positives that you feed to your brain - the less happier you'll be - and happy people generally are not bulimic people!
Keep on your good work - you might find it hard to see - but you're making progress - I promise :) From somebody looking on the outside - I can see that you're taking good step!
All the best Ji and speak soon!
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