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bulimia recovery

by olivia

I'm in my second week of recovery after 4 years of bulimia and 2 years of anorexia before that. I'm only 19 so have been struggling throughout my teenage years but I always said by the time I'm 20 I have to have stopped so here I am nearly 2 weeks on and have only slipped up once so far (which is an accomplishment for me as I have never gone more than 2 days without b/p in so many years!!). It hasn't been easy but I cant say its been that difficult either as I am at university nobody knows so its quite nice not to be reminded constantly by people and I can eat what I feel comfortable with. So far I have only managed roughly X kcal a day spread out and only very healthy foods because I think anything over will cause me to want to b/p. I am slightly underweight but not much and I can see a huge difference in my face which is very encouraging and helpful in recovery. I have never had a consistent period and it only really comes back if I start taking the pill but that doesn't really help much either, which worries me so much as I'm scared that I'll never be able to have children. I haven't been feeling that bloated either as I walk alot and drink peppermint tea every evening. Strangely I have had weird side effects from not b/p ing like insomnia and feeling hot all the time, also I feel a lot more stressed than normal and my skin is much more oily? but the positives are my hair is less brittle and I look much prettier in the face. Did anyone else experience unusual side effects in recovery? I am doing this alone as my family will not understand and they made things worse for me when i was anorexic by completely turning against me as if i was the enemy and was causing all their problems. I dont think they will ever trust me again sadly so its easier if they think i am fine. I became anorexic when i was about 13 after my mother died and I was sent to a boarding school that I hated. My dad sent me to a clinic for anorexia when I was 14/15 and I put on the weight but never really dealt with the psychological problems so I think thats what drove me to bulimia. It would be helpful to hear from anyone who has been through recovery and can advise me on calories, periods and side effects. I have heard so many stories about bloating and I am terrified that if I put my calories up to X i will not fit into my clothes and feel disgusting so revert back to my old ways. my body seems to maintain on only X? I am very determined to beat this and feel positive about the way I am thinking. x

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Article by Shaye Boddington
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and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program