I would like to begin with telling you what an inspiration you have been and how much this website has helped me, it has shown me that there is hope and that I can recover.
So I wanted to ask you, I'm trying to recover from bulimia and I can't say that I'm there, I manage to keep a few meals in, but then there's just that time where I eat, it's not binge eating, and then I throw up, not because I'm ashamed but because I physically can't hold it in - it just feels so uncomfortable. Is this bulimia bloating? Is whats happening to me part of recovering or am i just fooling myself into thinking im recovering?
And am I really recovering or am I not!?
I am so glad that my site is helping you in this journey of recovery :) I am glad that it is giving you the hope that you can recover... Because I swear to God that you can!
Chances are that if you feel like you are walking the road to recovery - then you are... I don't think you are fooling yourself. Recovery is a long journey full of lots of obstacles... Discomfort after eating is one of these obstacles - and It's one I remember very well....
I used to feel so gross after eating that sometimes I could do nothing else besides go to sleep... Even if it was midday or afternoon... I simply had to sleep off the worst of the discomfort. My body was so used to holding no food - that as soon as I kept food down - it didn't know what to do with it! I think this is part of the bulimia bloating... it's getting used to the physical sensation of having food in your tummy...
Add to the mix that your digestive system is probably sluggish from years of bulimia - and you may have very low healthy bacteria's in your gut - digestion will be even more difficult... BUT, this is not bad news... It is simply a sign that your body needs time to heal... Give it this time and try to hold down as much nourishment a you can - and in time it will happen!
Something I did was to try and postpone purging for 10 minutes... If I felt like I couldn't possibly hold a meal in, I'd make a deal to hang on for 10 more minutes and then reassess things... Sometimes I'd be able to resist purging altogether by doing this.. Tacking things in small chunks like this makes it so much less daunting!
I hope this advice helps :)
Keep up your awesome work - you will get there!
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