Bulimia recovery - I don't want to let anymore life slip by!
(Los Angeles, CA )
For me living life with bulimia is like living life with blinders on.
I remember the first time I saw a horse wearing blinders. I was told the horse needed to wear blinders to keep him from being frightened by anything in his peripheral vision. The blinders also help the rider keep the horse focused on the path directly in front of him.
Bulimia is like blinders to me. Bulimia helps keep me focused on the importance of physical appearance and weight. There is no peripheral vision in my bulimia, just one dark narrow path of pain and sadness.
Thankfully I have the option of taking off the blinders to see all that I am missing. You know what? When I look around at the world I see that physical appearance matters very little. Of course I have to look past the media and fashion magazines but that is what removing my bulimia blinders does. I can see how powerful life is. I see that I can decide what matters to me (love, compassion, freedom, learning, helping others) and what doesn't matter at all (my weight, fitting into a specific size).
I don't want to miss out on any more life. I want to see the life that is in my peripheral vision and if something frightens me I want to feel it, not numb the feeling with bulimia.
I have my structured eating plan for today set. I have my inspiration card in my wallet for reference when a binge urge arises. I will work this recovery plan until I am free, until I no longer have any blinders on at all.
Return to bulimia support groups.