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I'd been bulimic for over 6 years. Unfortunately the awful bulimia purge was an everyday - even up to 15x a day - part of my life. I hated it - but had learnt to live with it.
Bulimia made my life so complicated. Things that should have been so simple took massive effort. My life revolved around binging and purging - and then creating lies to hide it...
That's why, 2 days before heading off on a romantic holiday to the Pacific Islands with my boyfriend Tom.... I was nervous.
Tom and I had been together for over a year... He knew me better than anyone - but he still didn't know my dark bulimia secret.
I think it was the nerves of having to hide my bulimia on holiday that triggered one of the biggest binges of my life...
Bulimia binge and bulimia purge 1 = 3 bowls of coco pops for breakfast
Bulimia binge and bulimia purge 2 = A whole loafs worth of toast with cheese
Bulimia binge and bulimia purge 3 = 28 Protein Bars!
Nope that isn't a joke... I ate 3 bowls of coco pops, a loaf of bread and 28 protein bars in the space of a few hours!
How did I do it?
I have no idea! I guess my brain switched off and I just ate, and ate, and ate.
You know what I mean... Don't you?
Once this massive binge was over and I'd thrown everything up... My brain flicked back on and I started to panic... What had I done!?
I had eaten over $100 worth of Tom's protein bars... Which he had bought specifically to eat when we were on holiday!
My mind was going a million miles an hour... What could I tell him?
I decided that I would pretend to pack them. Once we were in the Islands, I'd say they must have been stolen at the airport... Because they weren't in my bag.
I hated lying to Tom... But that's what bulimia makes you do.
The lie worked - and Tom believed me...
I guess he had no reason not to... I was the perfect girlfriend... With a dark bulimic secret :(
I've shared my bulimia purging story to help you realize you're not alone!
Please share your bulimia purging story to help others realize that they're not freaks!
We are all in this and can beat this together!
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community