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Bulimia nervosa symptoms weren't something I thought about when I first threw up behind the lucky bean tree at the age of 8...
All I wanted to do was stay thin and somehow I had discovered this 'trick' to help me achieve that.
As a kid, my bulimic episodes were few and far between and so my bulimia nervosa symptoms were very mild...
In fact, I can't really remember noticing any.
But as I got older and as my bulimia became more and more severe, that changed.
First of all, I started getting these huge mouth sores. They were in the corner of my mouth and looked like big weeping cold sores. Ouch, they hurt!
Then I got gray bags beneath my eyes - this was from low levels of iron.
Somewhere in this time, my hair got very thin and frizzy. Bulimia hair loss had struck pretty bad.
And then there were my bulimia teeth... Good lord, my poor teeth! I think I spent more time at the dentist than I did at school and university! Many fake teeth, crowns and fillings later and they look normal. Thank God for good dentists!
In particular electrolyte imbalances.
My massive episodes of binging and purging made me dangerously low in essential electrolytes. Being low in these can lead to sudden bulimia heart attacks.
To be honest after purging at least 15 times a day, I'm not sure how my heart held out.
One things for sure, our bodies are resilient and they will fight for life!
Sometimes I would feel so alone and ashamed that I would push my face into my pillow and scream with everything I had inside me.
Bulimia made me feel like I was a total freak. Bulimia made me feel like a liar and a fraud. Bulimia made me feel like I didn't deserve anything good in my life.
Bulimia cast a dark shadow over me which made me angry, moody and unpredictable.
Bulimia made me believe that I hated myself.
It's no wonder that one of the most common causes of death from bulimia is suicide. I never wanted to die... But sometimes I thought death was easier than living with bulimia.
There was a time that I thought recovery was impossible.
I used to think I was the worst bulimic on earth and that I was beyond all help.
But I recovered. Not only did I recover - I managed to overcome all the symptoms of bulimia nervosa, including depression... And do you want to know what I discovered?
There is SO much to live for!
Holy cow, this world is beautiful! Sometimes when I stop to look at my life now, I get weepy at how magnificent it is...
I'm not some super star and I don't drive a fancy car. I'm not a millionaire either. I'm a normal woman living a simple life. But this life is simply beautiful!
When the dark shadow of bulimia clears away from you life, you'll see this word for what it truly is... A place of love and happiness! A place of peace :)
Yesterday is the past and tomorrow is the future. There is no time that will ever exist other than NOW. Please don't put your recovery off for another day... I did that for 10 years!
Do one thing today that will help you take a step towards your beautiful life of freedom...
You could do one of the following 3 things...
Whatever you decide to do, remember that you can make a full recovery from bulimia and bulimia nervosa symptoms such as depression.
You can live a life that is more beautiful than you ever imagined!
All you have to do is take one baby step forward... And then another...
If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you can't help but get to where you want to go!
And I'm sending you love and prayers for every step of this journey...
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community