Bulimia Happened so Fast
I used to be the bubbly, excited, energetic, little girl that everyone wanted to be like. My life was full of friends, sports, and having the most fun I could possibly have. Everything was normal, I wasn't depressed, lonely, and I didn't have any bad thoughts at the way I looked.
Sophomore year in high school came around and I wanted to lose weight and be tiny. Pictures of people who were skinny stood out to me and I had gained a little bit of weight but I was not fat at all. I had friends that would tell me I could get any boy I wanted, people said I wish I dressed and looked like you, but something made me want to be skinny and look different.
It all started out as a little fun and easy way to get skinny but I honestly think It all started because I was unhappy and angry. Family problems, school, boyfriends, bored, and just unhappiness filled my life.
At this time I had a friend who was in the same place as me. She too wanted to be skinny. We did it together but then about 1 year later we stopped and decided to recover together. We did it. We prayed together, I talked to God, and I wrote to a guidance counselor for help. I had recovered.
One year later I relapsed. I didn't like the body I had, I was stressed, not sleeping, depressed, and just an angry person. I had no relationship with God and I didn't know where to go with my life. School was about to start and that's when it all started again. Binges came on and I was spending about $50 dollars every two days or even every day. My bank account was getting lower and lower on a daily basis and I didn't want to stop and couldn't stop. I wanted to eat everything my boyfriend was and just everything in general. I would binge every chance I could and that would be up to 5 times a day. I would eat so much that I couldn't wear any of my clothes or normal shirts. I had to purge after this or my stomach would be huge and I would look pregnant. I ate all kinds of foods but mostly fatty, unhealthy, ones. I was unhappy and I was never happy during this period. My grades were bad, my relationships were bad, everything was going down hill. No one knows. People may have an idea but no one really knows.
I found this site and I want to be happy again. My eating was out of control. I don't know when i'm hungry or when i'm full and this site has given me a chance to get better.
Please pray for me and I will pray for you.
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