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10 years of throwing up had done serious damage to my body... I had bulimia effects which I didn't know if I could fix.
What worried me the most was my inability to hold food down...
I wanted to keep it down... But, even if it was just a tiny salad - my body forced it back up.
At first, I couldn't lie down to sleep because my food would end up on my pillow. It was almost as if there was no valve to hold things in!
But, I was determined to recover...
When the food slid back up I would swallow it right back down... Bile filled chunky grossness and all! YUK!
During my recovery I realized that I'd developed one of the many serious bulimia effects... Esophageal reflux.
All my years of vomiting had caused the valve that keeps food down to go on strike.
My stomach was pouring semi-digested food and acid into my mouth after every meal.
I was terrified that I'd have to learn to live with these uncomfortable and embarrassing bulimia effects...
I was worried that bulimia had damaged my body beyond repair...
Not only did I recover from bulimia... But, I kicked all of the side effects of bulimia in the butt too!
Including my terrible case of Esophageal Reflux! I can now eat whatever I want and hold it down - without any problems... Over 6 years bulimia-free and I still don't take that for granted!
And guess what else... 6 years after I recovered from bulimia - I only weigh in 6 pounds more than I did when I was bulimic. 6 pounds is nothing... It's the best trade I ever made!
Recovering from bulimia won't make you gain endless amounts of weight... Not learn to overcome what causes you to binge. You can have a slim, healthy body - full of life and energy!
I believed that I'd damaged my tummy and metabolism beyond repair. That the bulimia effects of reflux, lazy bowel syndrome and a slow sluggish metabolism would be with me forever.
This simply isn't the case...
I binged and purged for the last time in my 2nd year of uni... At graduation one year later, my metabolism was as good as everyone else's.
Now, 6 years on - I can eat more than an average female without gaining weight.
I am slim, healthy and happy.
Bulimia and my bulimia effects are a thing of the past!
Bulimia effects every aspect of our lives... but thankfully, we can all experience a complete and permanent bulimia recovery... I believe this more than anything! If I recovered after 10+ years - then you can too. Recovering from bulimia will also help you settle at your natural and healthy weight... It's a great place to be!
A problem shared is a problem halved... Talking about your bulimia will help you feel supported in your recovery journey. You can talk to a therapist, to somebody you trust or other girls in a bulimia support group.
I think I sound like a stuck record saying this over and over again on my website, in my recovery program and on my videos! But I say it so often because it's just so important!
Dieting is one of the key reasons why people first slip into the binge and purge cycle. It's just so unnatural to deny our bodies of the food they need and when we do, it backfires. Dieting sends messages to the sub-cortex of our brain saying "There is a famine" - the response - massive urges to be on the lookout for food all the time!
Now you may have stopped dieting many years ago, but you remain bulimic... This is completely possible for 2 reasons...
1) You still have dieting related thoughts... you know the type "Today I'm just eating fruit and vegetables" or "After this binge, that's it - no more food for the whole day" these thoughts are enough to keep the sub-cortex on famine alert.
2) Years of repeating the cycle of bulimia has wired these connections into your brain as neural pathway habits. These are strong habits reinforced through repetition. Luckily these habits can be 're-wired' and you can become a completely normal eater again! I offer plenty of advice on how to do this in my successful online bulimia recovery program, to learn more about it, click here.
Food is fun - there's no denying that. Recovering from bulimia doesn't mean that you won't be allowed to enjoy food ever again... Not at all!
In fact, to successfully recover from bulimia you need to eat yummy foods! You need to try and eat 3 nutritious meals and 2-3 little snacks each day. Try to make 1-2 of these snacks yummy treats. For example, a great after dinner snack is a cookie and a cup of cocoa :)
Allowing yourself to eat tasty foods in recovery will help take them off that pedestal that years of 'dieting mentality' put them on. As you allow yourself to eat and digest all types of food, you'll be able to tune into your body to hear what it really want to eat. Bulimia effects the types of food your brain calls for...
A perfect example of this is my past love affair with cake...
When I was bulimic, I LOVED cake. Chocolate, vanilla, banana - it didn't matter. If I was put in a room with cake, I could not control myself. As I walked my recovery journey, I worked on allowing myself to eat cake a few times a week...
Now, 6 years since my recovery, I have no interest in eating cake at all! I have realized that the only reason why I wanted cake so badly was because I wasn't allowed it!
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community