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Despite having been to bulimia counseling for nearly 8 months, I felt quite far from a full bulimia recovery. Don't get me wrong - everyday I felt stronger, happier and more capable... But I still hadn't gone a single day without throwing up at least twice.
Then, one cold October evening, 8 months into my bulimia counseling - a miracle happened...
I threw up after dinner and decided that it would be the last time - ever.
I had made this goal of miraculous recovery many times... But, this time I felt a deeper desire and strength within me...
I was hopeful...
Day 1 passed and I managed to eat small and controlled meals - I felt full and bloated, but I kept the food inside me. The day passed and I managed not to binge and purge.
I was ecstatic.
I remember lying in bed and yelling in my mind how flipping' awesome I was!
Day 2 passed - and the same thing - I managed to focus on the nourishment of my body rather than the shape of it...
Day 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 all passed in the same sort of way. I had gone an entire week week without over eating or throwing up.
In my mind I was the coolest person in the world...
I was SO proud of myself!
Yes, I did feel bloated, fat, constipated... But - I knew these things would pass... And, left behind once they were gone would be a healthy and happy body.
I was ecstatic!
That week was the first of many. In fact - 7 years on and I've stopped counting.
Bulimia is a thing of the past :)
I believe that there were many contributing factors to my bulimia recovery... 2 of these were:
I'd been going to bulimia counseling once a fortnight for 8 months... There was no doubt that it played a role in my recovery. It taught me skills and techniques to which helped me overcome my critical self talk. Amanda, my counselor also taught me that in order to beat bulimia, I would have to ditch dieting forever - this was an KEY piece of my recovery puzzle.
But, there was something else that was equally significant in my recovery...
More than anything I wanted to recover from bulimia. I was willing to do whatever it took... Be it talking about my illness, going for counseling, gaining a little weight... You name it - I would do it.
My desire to recover forced me to push beyond the shame and silence of my bulimia and get help.
I'd love to say YES, YES, YES to everyone... But the truth is some people won't benefit from counseling or therapy... If you don't really want to recover - then the time isn't right for you. Bulimia counseling would probably be wasted.
If you are want recovery, if recovery excites you, if you feel like you need it more than anything... Then counseling will help you get there!
Counseling wont make bulimia recovery a straight and simple road that you can speed across to the other end... But, it will help light up the twisted pathway that eventually leads to health and happiness.
Bulimia counseling can be incredibly healing... However, it's also important to get practical advice on things like:
You can get a lot of that practical advice on my website and in my free video course. For a full practical step-by-step recovery plan, you could find my online recovery program and community helpful. You can read more about it here.
Remember that no matter how difficult the recovery journey is... It is so much easier than living with bulimia day in and day out.
Stay Strong :)
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community