Bulimia and Im only 19!!!
(San Diego, CA, USA)
I am currently suffering from bulimia. I'm the type of guy who want to do everything on my own because Ive been on my own. so I would hate to go and get help for this....but I know I truly need it...I tend to eat once or twice a day, but when I do eat I eat enough for five people. Before, during, and after eating I am thinking about throwing up. In my mind Im saying "its ok to eat this and that because I'm going to throw it up" Its literally a daily, nah hourly thing that pops into my mind, Ill just throw it up the famous word, Ill just throw it up, The sad thing is I cant stop and after I do throw up I beat myself up (not literally) for throwing up, but I know ill do it again and again. Im seriously trying to help myself by reading the side effect and downfalls of this illness but nothing seems to work...I even had the courage to tell my dad but once he started talking about seeking help for me I immediately started persuading him that I was going to stop, sadly I fooled him and myself because it only lasted a day which to me felt great until I was back to my old ways. I'm noticing that this doesn't just affect me, Im having all these mood swings mostly anger which i back lash toward anyone near and I truly don't want this to affect my body but I know it is. Im trying to make this sound inspiring but how can it be when i have nothing to inspire about because i have not beaten this illness.....
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