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Bulimia - A Living Nightmare

I'm 16 and a year ago I used to weigh 160. But I went to a very strict diet, I was so disciplined and determined to lose weight...

NO CARBS
NO MEAT
NO POULTRY
NO SOFT DRINKS...

Veggies, Fruits and water were my only intake.

My diet was successful. I weighed 120 after. I lost a lot of weight. But I wasn't satisfied - My goal was to weigh 100 lbs... So I started counting my calorie intake. I became obsessed with calculating calories. I weigh myself everyday and I make a chart of my weight progress. But my weight seemed to be stagnant. I wasn't losing anything. I was still 120...

So I started starving myself...

I eat small amounts and then I throw it all up after. I did lose a lot of weight. I was 112 after, so I thought I was doing good. I thought it was a secret diet models used so I continued doing it.

Then I realized I was no longer losing, I was gaining weight!! And I no longer had control over myself...

I was eating and eating and eating...

I tried dieting again but I can't stop thinking about food. I was horrible. I can't stop eating and throwing up. Instead of continuing my NO CARBS diet I became an addict for breads and pastries. I was able to eat 10 breads in one setting then throw it up after. It's Shameful. then I noticed my face grew puffy. I looked like a balloon. IT WAS VERY EMBARRASSING, I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL. MY FACE WAS HUGE AND ROUND, people were asking "did you just gain weight?" I cried so hard seeing my face like this... If I knew bulimia was like this, I would never have got into it. :(

After seeing the effect of bulimia I decided to stop it, I was so determined to start a new me, a new life... So I tried going to gym to keep me busy and diverting my attention but it didnt work. I tried putting post-its on my mirror, and almost everywhere around my house saying "STOP BULIMIA- PUFFY CHEEKS, DISCOLORED TEETH, UGLY YOU, WEIGHT GAIN" thinking it would work... But it didn't... I was ignoring them and I was still eating and eating then purging. :( and now my face is as round as a coin.

But now I am trying my best to stop this disorder.

I pray God will give me strength.

Let's kick bulimia Goodbye!


PS. Will my face ever go back to its normal shape/size? :(


Love,
Z :*
Love,

Shaye Shayes



Hi there z!

Thank you so much for sharing your bulimia story... I think it will open many young girls eyes to what bulimia is truly like... Anybody wanting to start bulimia should read your story!

There is good news though - Yes, your face will go down once you manage to recover from bulimia. I had terrible chipmunk cheeks when I was bulimic - between 3 months to a year after I stopped throwing up they completely disappeared. Phew!

Do you think your parents would be understanding of your bulimia? If so, it would probably be really helpful to open up to them... Although I know that this is hard. :)

If you have any other questions, please ask!

All the best and stay strong - you can beat bulimia - I promise!

x Shaye

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program