Breaking up with binging
For far too long, I've been in a relationship with food. Food has been there when I'm lonely, when I'm sad, when I'm stressed, when I've been hurt by something someone said, when I've gone out to bars and haven't gotten attention from guys, when I feel like I'm not performing at work.... basically, ALL the time. I'm so hard on myself that I don't know that I'd be able to go on without a crutch to lean on, and that crutch has always been food.
The mania has taken a hold of me, so strong that I barely recognize myself anymore. 13 years of binging and purging.. I feel like I'm literally watching my life being flushed down the toilet. On the outside, everyone thinks I am so successful and have my life together, but on the inside I feel like I'm hollow and empty. It's been so long since I've allowed myself to even feel anything.
I am ready to live a full life again. To have real relationships with real people, and to break up with binging once and for all. I want to live life to it's fullest. I want to laugh, to love, to cry, to empathize, to hug, to kiss.
I am ready to start living and end this nightmare.
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