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Body can't stop

by Jocelyn Simone

My eating disorders blossomed when I was first diagnosed with bipolar. Anorexia became a way to control what i couldn't (im heavily bipolar and its just an awful disease.)

During that time, i was hardcore anorexic. When consulting diagnostic manuals, i was a perfect fit.

When the medication started to work, i started to eat again. Then that's when i fell into bulima. I still had control issues and i was losing the battle over my weight. I can remember the first time i used bulimia. When i was younger I had a terrible fear of vomiting. Now, I still suffer from bulimic symptoms.

My body is often tired, and so my stomach is upset. The only way to really soothe my stomach is to vomit. I have no more gag reflexes; sometimes vomiting happens when i bend over.
I was wondering if other recovered bulimics had this problem.

I dont have a disorted body image anymore. If anything, i gained a "lithium body" which believe me makes me look anything but a former-eating-disorder-victim.

Is this common? I dont have any other friends that have/had bulimia so im at a total loss.

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