Being "sick" after battling bulimia
I have struggled with bulimia for many years, but, this past September I began a 3 month rehab for my eating disorder.
Today is the first time I have vomited without it being self-induced in a very long time. I actually have some type of "bug"...
But although I didn't make myself vomit, I struggle with the fact that I did.
Any advice for being sick after battling bulimia?
Awesome to hear from you! And... WELL DONE on your recovery so far - you are doing such a fantastic job!
Your question brought back a very strong memory for me... It reminded me of the first time I vomited after recovering from bulimia... I had drank way too many cocktails with my girlfriends! I remember feeling really sick - and trying to hold it in... I was worried that if I threw up it would mean I had 'slipped'...
As it was - I couldn't hold it in any longer - and threw up in the garden (not very graceful!) I remember thinking what a weird feeling it was throwing up without the intention of getting rid of food... Throwing up for non-bulimic reasons. It was odd.
I still didn't like it though - but I rinsed my mouth out, brushed my teeth and stumbled to bed.
The next day I woke feeling a little worse for wear... But I also felt happy. I felt happy because I felt normal. I felt like any other 20-somthing who had had a bit too much of a party.
My advice to you would be to just relax, take it easy and feel grateful that you've just had a 'normal' experience... Everyone gets sick from time to time with bugs, food poisoning, too many cocktails and so on... Focus on being grateful that the bug has passed rather than reminding yourself about the vomiting.
It will take time before events like this hold no meaning or bulimic reminders to you whatsoever - but it will happen. You are still in the early parts of this journey - and I'm excited for you - because there are so many wonderful things to come :)
Keep up your awesome work - you're an inspiration!
Return to Bulimia questions.