Being honest with myself
Ive been following this site for a while, and reading your articles and posts etc. Its all super inspiring. Thanks so much. I have also joined other international sites, and have been following them as well. Probably for about six months now. The problem is, I'm still bulimic.
Ive been full on bulimic for about a year and a half now. Before that - I went for a period of two years being underweight, and then prior to that - overweight and losing weight. At the moment, I have put on a lot of weight being bulimic, and I think this might be what is driving me to keep being bulimic. It's kind of like the feeling like I have blown it. Ive put on weight and now I don't know how to take it off.
I tell myself continually that I am not going to be bulimic. I write structured eating plans for myself. And I follow them for a few days. And then - failure. I fall into the b/p cycle again.
I have been in the b/p cycle for three days now and it is affecting my life so much. I have called in sick so that I don't have to face the world like this. I don't want to do anything. I feel like I have no motivation.
I don't know how to go forward now. I read on your website that this is the first step, one that I have never really taken, so I'm doing it now in hope that something happens and I can begin to control it for once. It is taking over my life, making me so unhappy and destroying everything I've worked so hard to create.
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