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battle cry

by Jane H
(Los Angeles)

Hello everyone, this is the first time ive written about my bulimia. It started when I turned 19. I met a guy through a dating site and he wanted to meet me in person so I couldn't let him see me for who I really was, which was fat. I weighed nearly Xlbs and had been overweight since childhood. It kept me from being social. I was a very shy kid and it got worse as I got older. When I met this guy, Alex, we talked almost every night on the phone. He made me feel beautiful. I started throwing up everything I ate, no matter how small or big. I even remember throwing up an apple. The weight was melting off of me and my mom was the first to notice. After 2 months, I had dropped nearly Xlbs. I felt amazing and the responses I got from people fueled my need to binge even more. I am 25 now. I moved away from home 3 months ago and it has been a huge aid in helping me recover. I did slip once, but I didnt let it happen again. I truly believe moving away from home has helped me immensely. I feel happier, more in control and alive. But I know this battle with my weight has not been won yet. I still have a ways to go and I am happy I came across this website. At first I didn't feel like sharing my story. Honestly I just didn't want to type it all up using my phone but what the heck. I am awake at 5 in the morning for a reason and I believe this is it. I eventually met Alex and he took something that I can never get back. I was young but I have no regrets, only hope for the future. For years, I felt like I was never good enough or could never be good enough. Now I know that self love is the first step and the most important to not only winning this fight but regaining my life back. Thanks Shaye for the much needed inspiration!!!:)

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program