Your bulimia recovery
Tap here to read more about the bulimia recovery program

My online program and private recovery community has helped hundreds of women beat bulimia.
Click here to learn more

Beat bulimia using my online recovery program and private community. Hundreds of women who were just like you have done the same!

Click here to learn more Member Login

Bathtub Mishaps

I was fifteen when I started bulimia. I was always overweight as a child, not "fat" just "chunky". I dealt with it, though. I would hate myself, but I didn't think there was anything I could do about it. Then I discovered bulimia. Finally! I could eat what I want and lose weight! And I thought I was smart about it, too. "If I eat this and throw up, then after I can drink hot tea to make my throat better, take a few vitamins and, maybe eat a banana." I would drink milk and tea religiously, and- on the rare days I decided to eat- I would eat bananas, or beans. "Electrolytes," was all I thought. My family thought I was crazy about bananas. Until one day, I clogged the bathtub. I had a barbecue that day; I ate a hotdog, chips, cookies, drank a LOT of soda. Just went for it. And then I threw up. I felt terrible all day, as though the food hadn't completely left my stomach. When I went home I decided I had enough. I wanted to throw up again-I NEEDED to throw up again. So, I ate. I ate a bunch again, and afterwards I went to my bathroom and threw up in the tub. It was my regular place to throw up so I didn't think much of it. I was just relieved to feel empty again. But when the food wouldn't disappear, panic set in. I kept trying to make it go away, I was praying for it to just go down the drain; making promises never to throw up again if it would just GO AWAY. But, it didn't. I panicked and told my mom I was sick and something happened. She tried to help me without telling my dad. He would have gotten angry if he found out I clogged the tub. But it didn't work, and he found out. There was a bunch of crying on my part, and my mom just didn't understand why, if I was feeling sick, I went for the tub and not the toilet. (Our toilet wouldn't flush the food properly, it took a bunch of flushes.) I was done. I lay that night before bed realizing that this was affecting everyone and not just me. My parents kept having to buy food to keep up with my habits. I was done being selfish. When I woke up the next morning I had broccoli and celery.and tea. I resisted the urge to puke and it worked. That was three days ago. Still recovering, I was bulimic for almost a year. But I haven't thrown up or shoved my fingers down my throat in three days, and I feel so much less stress, it's amazing. I even think my stomach is starting to remember hunger. Right now, in this moment, I think I'm hungry. I'm going to have a burrito and it's going to be freaking awesome. Sure, I make myself eat the healthy foods only, but I don't care. I'm done with bulimia.

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.

 

 

Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program