Your bulimia recovery
Tap here to read more about the bulimia recovery program

My online program and private recovery community has helped hundreds of women beat bulimia.
Click here to learn more

Beat bulimia using my online recovery program and private community. Hundreds of women who were just like you have done the same!

Click here to learn more Member Login

Bacon, eggs, ice cream, candy, and potato chips...

by Kimberly
(Rochester, NY)

It feels never ending. I have been bulimic since I was 16. I am now 27.

11 years later, and I'm still wasting my time eating mindlessly and carefully orchestrating every time I go into the bathroom to throw up. How I close the door, how I get my fingers wet before thrusting them down my throat, how I try not to splatter the disgusting shrapnal of puke that hits the sides of the toilet and sometimes my legs. Graphic right. I am so embarassed, but why do I keep doing it then...?

I'm honestly sick of asking myself this question, and after reading some other posts, at least I know I'm not completely alone.

I could go on about how it all began back 11 years ago, but I've done that already. I've talked to shrinks, been to the hospital, been to doctors, I KNOW WHY it started, but all that is just dirty napkins now. I want to get rid of it, not dwell on what happened and why I chose this 'wonderful' habit as my scapegoat.

I have my good days and bad days. Most of them would be considered 'bad' in an anti-bulimic's eyes. A good day for me is doing it only once, or not at all, usually by the next day it is all I crave to do. It's like smoking crack and wanting more...and yes... I've even tried that. It helped while I was doing it, but made it ten times worse in the long run. So I can not smoke crack anymore, but I can't get over this...? What the hell is wrong with me?

Bulimia has followed me through high school, college, 3 serious boyfriends, lots of family trouble, lots of good things as well, and it (the bulimia) is in full swing as I get my career in order.

Its like the fly that just will not go away. I keep swatting it, but I'm getting to the point of laziness where I hope it will eventually die. Problem is, a fly can only die of starvation or age if nothing is trying to squash it...I'm not squashing it, and I'm sure not starving it. In fact, I give this bug enough fuel to last into the next three centuries. I feel like a pugnant piece of skunk doo doo. And still I allow this wrath to continue to control me.

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to bonus-recipe-book.



Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program