another fight with Bulimia :'(
A big thanks for all of you here ,your experiences are enlightening and encouraging.I have been purging for almost 13 years now and thought I was doing the best for my body , throwing up all the carbs and fat away.I was almost 13 when I first started to purge and since then I got deeply lost in bulimia and never talked about it until this moment.. I used to binge and purge constantly every day after dinner .Playing it smart I used to eat healthy during the day and workout alot, at night I can literally eat ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING : greasy fatty unhealthy food and sneak afterward to the toilet ..looks like a good plan !until I got my eyes open!! I completely drained my body starting with my teeth , my throat , my metabolism and digestion and the biggest damage was my constant irregular period. My GI told me that I have polycystic ovaries and recommended contraceptive pills and I was only 15 back then !! .. contraceptive pills made my hormones go nuts!! I have weak bones too specially my knees the right one is constantly cracking and it's becoming more and more painful specially when i'm cold or sick . I have plenty of symptoms and I NEVER related them to bulimia . The worst part was the pressure I was putting on my eyes specially after I did my Lasik surgery for myopia correction that now I see a bit blurry with my right eye :( it's not normal or happens often .Over the past 2 years I noticed some more cellulites!!! maybe because of the hormones changes and bulimia probably. I don't know how to get rid of them , I have tried EVERYTHING creams , pills ,professional massages, draining machines ..NOTHING WORKS !a total waste of money and time :( I'm even thinking about having a "home colon cleansing" thought it might be a good idea to get rid of the toxics and reduce my cellulites. does anybody recommend it ???
I wanna quit purging !! that's it , I had enough. I don't say that often but I can't do it on my own, I need help , advices ,I mostly wanna hear about your recovery stories! I want to be healthy !! sometimes I stop purging for couple of days and try to watch my diet that's when the bloating starts and the urge of holding farts ALL THE TIME .Bulimia is affecting my marriage, my health and my self esteem!! .I can't tell anyone about my case because I kept the secret for a very long time and I'm ashamed of it. For everybody else I look pretty much "In Shape " I weight X pounds and look healthy like every bulimic girl. I wish I had enough courage to confess how sick I am and said it loud that I'm bulimic and need help because I'm struggling to fight it !!
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