Dear Shaye, Am I Bulimic?
Am I bulimic? I hope that I'm not..but I definitely have some of the symptoms of bulimia you've written about on your website..
Yesterday was a long day - I worked a 10 hour shift. To top things off a lady returned an item of clothing and yelled at me because it had a tear. I tried not to take it to heart but I was so embarrassed..The manager ended up coming down to sort things out.
When I got home, I felt drained. I felt like I needed a pick-me-up and grabbed a carton of ice cream from the deep freeze. I ate the whole thing.
At first I didn't care, but 5 minutes after eating it I started to feel guilty. I knew I had a party to go to this weekend and didn't want to look fat. I made the decision to try throw up the ice cream..
Which I did without too much trouble. My throat burnt a bit, but not too bad.
Afterwards I felt tones better - but the thought kept running through my head - am I bulimic.. am I bulimic..? I pushed it aside and finished watching my program on TV.
This morning my throat was burning real bad. I think it was because of the vomiting last night. I am worried because this is the 4th time I've done this in the last 2 months.
Shaye, I'm worried I'm going to become bulimic. After reading your bulimia stories, I don't want to!! But it seems I can't control my binging!!
HELP me please. Am I okay? Is this normal? Or, am I bulimic already?
Hoping for a reply,
Firstly, thanks for letting me share your question and bulimia story on my website... I am sure it will help others who have a similar concern.
I'm so glad that you made the decision to write to me and get some advice/pointers from somebody who has been bulimic and managed to beat it.
To your question "Am I bulimic?"... It's hard to say definitely - but you are definitely displaying signs of bulimia... But it sounds like a very new habit since you've only done them 4 times.
In my opinion, if you continue this way and don't make any changes - you could very likely develop bulimia... It is so easy to slip from the occasional binge/purge into full bulimia.
It seems like your job is triggering your binges and anxiety... If it is, I would really consider looking for work somewhere that is a little less crazy. Perhaps somewhere that isn't focused around fashion and what you look like?
If you can't change your job - then I think that you should read my page learning how to eat intuitively. This will help you control your urge to binge... and also enable you to see why you feel like bingeing in the first place.
Probably the most important piece of advice I could give you is: Enjoy your life!
Make sure that everyday you do something that makes you truly happy. Play your favorite music, hang out with friends, take a long warm bath... whatever it is that makers you smile :)
Happiness is such an important part of life... But, it's often pushed aside for money, success, popularity and so on.
Allow happiness to become a priority in your life :)
A happy person is also far less likely to fall into bulimia.
If you really want kick this habit before it becomes any more serious, feel free to check out my online bulimia recovery program. I'd also suggest opening up to somebody you love and feel comfortable talking to.. People who suffer from bulimia feel so much shame - and talking can help to release so much of it!
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community