almost 2 years wasted
The summer before 8th grade my friend told me that sometimes when she felt full she just threw up to make the food go away. she was and is a model. even now when she goes to castings the people will flat out tell her she's too fat! 5'8 and X lbs by the way. so anyway, that summer we had a falling out. she was headed one direction, I was headed another and this upset me. I thought I could be more like her if I did what she was doing, threw up. At the beginning of my bulimia I was 5'0 X lbs, a perfectly acceptable size. I then quickly became obsessed with throwing up. that entire summer was binge, purge, binge, purge. My mom finally asked me why there was always weird stuff on the toilet and I told her that I was sick (not in the bulimic way). She believed me. I couldn't stop puking though. A month later she finally took me to the doctor. I was X lbs and had contracted some sort of bacteria because of my weakened immune system. Of course, the bacteria caused vomiting so the doctor just figured that's what my problem was. At this point, my mom didn't buy it. I was sent home with antibiotics and weight gain pills from the doctors. My mom signed me up for therapy. I was even able to snow the therapist. I gained X lbs so everyone thought I recovered, even my mom. And for awhile I did. I lasted a month withough puking, but it was on her birthday that I relapsed. Too much ice cream cake!! I lost weight again but no one noticed. I got so sneaky and sly with my bulimia. I have seven weeks left to go in 9th grade now and everyone in my life is still oblivious. I'm now 5'1 and X lbs so I'm basically just back where i started, except now i have a horrid metabolism. The difference now is that i have curves and boobs so I actually look thinner than when I was 13. Anyways, i would give anything to be regular again. I bet I'd actually be thinner. Sometimes I can't get all my binge food out and I'll end up ballooning X lbs in a day. then I'll fast and it"ll get back to normal. I'm already in therapy for anxiety and depression, I bet if \I told my shrink this she could help me, but its just too shameful.
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