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acts of bulimia

by Shaye
(New Zealand)

I thought I'd start this Bulimia Experiences page off by recounting another of the things I used to do to hide my bulimia...

It's strange to remember back... because the things I write about seemed so normal then... I wouldn't have even flinched...

When I was at home and I needed to throw up, I would normally either go for a shower and vomit in there, or I would go to the toilet...

When I used the toilet, I was paranoid that somebody would catch me. I was sure that my family suspected my bulimia - and always imagined that they were standing outside the toilet door listening for any unusual sounds...

Because of this, I would try to vomit as quietly as possible. I would fill my mouth up with puke and then stick my head in the toilet bowel - as close tot he side as possible...

I was practically kissing it :S

Then, I'd slowly release the vomit out of my mouth onto the inside of the toilet. It would slide down the side, not making much of a sound at all.

I'd keep doing this until I felt like I had emptied my stomach enough.

Then out I'd go with a big fake smile on my mouth, pretending my world was fine and dandy.

It was absolutely exhausting!

All I can say is thank God I recovered! life is so wonderfully simple now!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program