A Year of Hell
As a kid, I had always been overweight but it never really bothered me. I was never bullied about it and I was actually quite popular. I was very comfertable with myself until I became a freshman in high school. I would see all these skinny girls and I wanted that, more than anything in the world, which led to my search of ways to lose weight. I happened to stumble across something saying how you could eat whatever you wanted without gaining weight and that drew my attention. It was a page promoting bulimia and I got all my tips from there and it began to dominate my life. I would wake up in the morning, not eat anything, go to lunch, not eat anything, but oh boy, you should have seen me when I got home. I would eat incredible amounts of food, but I thought that was okay because after all, I could just throw it back up again.The weight began coming off and my family and friends were thrilled and I started getting compliments and that made me feel good about myself, so I let this unhealthy habit continue. Over the summer it got much worse though, I would eat ONE little thing, it could be as small as a cracker and I would throw it up, then I would work out for hours. I'm pretty sure what happened next must have been a miracle from God because one day I was just sitting down, relaxing, and then out of no where I just wanted make a change, and let me tell you it's the best decision I've ever made. So far I have been clean of purging for about a week now and I have no regrets, I also plan on seeing a doctor tomorrow and confessing all that I've done to get professional help and make sure I stay on the right path. I just want all of you to know that it may be a difficult to break those habits that you have developed over X amount of years but I believe it's possible. I also want all of you to know that you are beautiful/handsome and you don't need a eating disorder to feel that way about yourself and your body will thank you for taking care of it , so best of luck to you all :)
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