A mental jail!
A mental jail was the first thing that came to my mind for the title of my story!
My story is long and spans over 8 years of binging and purging many times a day. Spending most of my salary on baked goods and candy, ice cream and what not. I became an expert on things that was easy to throw up.
I would eat and eat and eat over and over again and throw up again and again. I had no control over my thoughts or actions, bulimia was my life!!
Until one day I felt ready to tackle the task. I decided that no matter what, I would win this battle.
That was over 20 years ago and I sure did win it. I look back now like it was a lifetime ago but still, it is so fresh in my memory because every minute of every day I wanted to stop.
I made up a program for myself. I made sure that I had candy in the house - at all times, and when the mood would strike, I was allowed one bite, and one bite only!!
I got as focused on that as I was focused on eating pounds of bites before. I somehow was able to discipline myself into taking only one bite. I would buy Halloween sized candy bars and take only one bite because it looked like a lot from a small bar.
I never really felt the urge to throw up just one bite so I kept this going until all I really wanted was one bite or no bite at all.
It´s amazing how we can re-program our brains one step at a time. It took me a while to figure it all out but once I started it wasn´t that hard but I was also ready because I had been so very sick for 8 years and just could not take it any longer.
If only one person finds this helpful and can use my method - I am happy!!! I am also very willing to help if I can in any way.
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.