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A day with her. (Mia)

by Jess

You awaken from a disturbed sleep

and can already feel her breath on your thoughts.

She sits, watching you.

Crouched in the corner of your mind..

Ready to pounce when you let your guard down for that single moment.

She licks her malicious lips..

as any minute now, she will devour your vulnerable heart.

You frantically try to get away

but there’s no escape.

And you can’t hide in the shadows..

for she is your shadow.

You have no choice.

You surrender..

And it begins..

Somehow, she knows exactly where to strike you..

Exactly where it hurts the most.

The precision and depth of each shred seems everlasting..

You pray for the process to be quick and dirty to minimise the pain

yet she insists on slowly tearing and twisting to seemingly make you as uncomfortable as possible.

Your eyes feel drenched with acidic tears; they burn your lids as they impatiently try to push their way out..

..yet you desperately squeeze your eyes closed in an attempt to imprison them..

Any sign of weakness will give her permission to punish you further.

Your aching throat feels unable to swallow as the great lump of sorrow blocking your voice is choking your every breath.

Her grip is a vice constantly getting tighter on your chest, compressing every last particle of your soul from your body...

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

And then suddenly, finally... it's over.

You feel so used.


You are left feeling hollow.

So empty.

And the darkness looming around you is so great, so thick, so black that it consumes any fleck of light in sight..

It becomes your comfort.

It cushions you into a vast pit of sadness..

and when you look around, you see exactly what you feel inside:


No life.

No light.

No sound…

Only the echo of your doubts and fears bouncing off the walls.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program