a balancing act
I'm 26 now, have a great job and live away from my family.
On the surface I have it all, I had a great childhood and I have some brilliant friends.
Despite all this I'm bulimic. I can't get through a day without binging and purging. I guess I'm lonely, or I'm depressed- I don't really know and I suppose that's partly why I find it so hard to stop. I've had some counselling and I'm on a reallllly long waiting list for CBT. In the meantime I'm on low dose antidepressants.
Generally I am quite a disciplined and organised person, yet this is the one area of my life I don't seem to be able to just stop.
I'll feel the urges and say to myself, 'right, you aren't doing this. Have a bath, go for a walk, distract yourself.' but before I know it I'm in the kitchen making some horrible concoction of anything vaguely sugary!
I just don't know when to stop.
I worry about my health, my looks because I know I look tired all the time and have dull skin, I worry about the future too- I couldn't contemplate a relationship at this stage and my social life is reduced to barely anything because I'm so destructive and just shut myself away.
I just don't know how to get past this.
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.