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Bulimia Recovery #7 - "Im A Worthless PIG" I thought over & over again
April 03, 2011
Hi,

"I Am A Worthless PIG" I thought over and over again...

For me (and most likely for you, too) the mental causes of bulimia came from deep inside my sub conscious mind... In an area of my brain that controlled my CORE BELIEFS...

Core beliefs are developed unconsciously when you're a kid... From people and experiences that shape your life... Often you have no idea that you hold a specific core belief because they're tucked away, out of sight.

Sometimes these core beliefs can be nurturing and life-enhancing... Other times they can be destructive and life-sucking...

Sometimes, they can be so life-sucking that they give birth to bulimia...

 

What Exactly Are Core Beliefs - And How Could They Cause Bulimia?

Core beliefs are basically your unwritten instructions on how to view the world - and how to live your life...

Everyone has multiple core beliefs... Some of them are positive and some of them are negative...

The positive core beliefs are beliefs that nurture your health and brighten your experience of life... A positive core belief would be something along the lines of...

"My family will love me no matter what" or "It is okay to seek help when I need it" or "I am a good person, despite slipping into bad behaviors from time to time"

Negative core beliefs, on the other hand, do not help at all... In fact, they fuel your bulimia by creating those nagging voices in your head...

In fact, it is likely that it was your negative core beliefs that planted the seed of bulimia in your mind.

You see... A negative core belief is like a filter...

If you look at the world through a red filter, everything looks a tone of red.

It's exactly the same when you look at the world through the filter of a negative core belief ...

For example... When I was bulimic, one of my negative core beliefs was...

"I am a greedy PIG".

This horrible belief about myself filtered my experience of life...

 

Here's A Memory I Have Where Negative Filtering Took Place...

I was 16 years old and competing in the World Junior Diving Championships in Aachen, Germany.

I had just finished my competition - and I had messed up big time... I was coming 3rd - which was a fantastic achievement... But, on my last dive (which was normally my best one!) nerves got the best of me... And, I actually did the wrong dive! That meant I got a total score of ZERO for that round - taking my final position down to 15...

I was devastated and, being bulimic, I decided to commiserate with a magnum ice cream block...

My team mate Kaitlyn and I were about to buy our ice creams. But before I handed over my money, our team manager arrived, announcing that I wasn't allowed one due to my bad results...

So Kaitlyn bought her ice cream and I, blushing bright red, put mine back.

I was devastated and went for a long shower where I cried and cried and cried...

I remember screaming at myself saying that the team manager was right for denying me the ice cream - after all, I was a worthless pig... I'd just throw it up anyway.

'PIG, PIG, PIG' I thought over and over again. 'I'm a WORTHLESS Pig.'

Can you see how my irrational belief filtered my experience?

Now that I have recovered, I think 'Gee, what a bit*h for not letting me have the ice cream!' I think the team manager was being totally insensitive and unfair...

But, back then my negative beliefs made me think that I was a worthless pig.

I cringe at how my irrational beliefs made me so cruel to myself!

 

Irrational Beliefs Help To MAINTAIN Your Bulimia...

Irrational not only cause bulimia, they also help to maintain it...

How can you recover from bulimia if you accuse yourself of being worthless, useless, fat, ugly and so on?

That's like a marathon runner taking the most mountainous, difficult and dangerous route to the finish line.

 

One of the First Steps to Bulimia Recovery: Identify Your Negative Core Beliefs...

It makes sense that to change negative core beliefs, we first need to figure out what they are! To do this...

  1. Think deeply your unwritten rules of life...
  2. When an idea comes along, write it down, think about it... Read it... Re-read it...
  3. When something makes you go 'A-ha!' there's a good chance that you've identified a core belief...

To help you along, I've written out a list of common negative core beliefs amongst bulimics... Do any of them make you go A-HA!?

  • It is essential that everyone likes me
  • I need to be thin to be liked
  • Thin is powerful, thin is beautiful
  • Food is my enemy
  • Food will make me fat
  • Food is my life
  • If I start eating I'll never stop
  • I'm ashamed of how I eat
  • I have to be thin
  • To be happy I have to be thin
  • I'm too fat
  • You can never be too thin
  • My body is disgusting
  • I can only love myself when I'm thin
  • Nobody will love me if I'm fat
  • Men only like thin women
  • If I'm not perfect, I'm nothing
  • I am not good enough

When you identify one of your core beliefs, write it down! Even consider sharing it on my bulimia stories page, along with what you think could have caused it.

Over the next 2 weeks, try to identify any negative core beliefs lurking in the deepest parts of your sub-conscious mind...

 

NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS CAN BE CHANGED!

And, in my next newsletter, I'm going to teach you a simplified 3 step process to identify and change them...

Changing your negative core beliefs to positive ones is like setting extra solid foundations when building a house. It's essential if you want your house to stand the test of time.

It's essential to have positive core beliefs if you want life-long bulimia recovery.

 

The Latest Stories and Inspirational Articles On My Site:

IMPORTANT NOTE: These links may have been "cut in half" by your mail reader. As a result they may no longer work. To see the page you may need to copy and paste the entire url into your browser all the way from http:// to .html at the end.

 

Wishing you love, happiness and RECOVERY :)

xox Shaye

P.S. To keep in the habit of taking positive action steps to your bulimia recovery, please consider either: 1) Sharing your bulimia story on my site or, 2) Posting a message or comment on the bulimia support groups page. or 3) Sharing your negative belief, along with a story on what you think could have caused it

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